Explore the language of connection
A friendly reference to ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, swinging, kink, consent, and the many ways people build relationships.
🍍 Ethical Non-Monogamy & Relationship Basics
30 terms
Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)
An umbrella term for consensual relationship structures in which everyone involved knows about and agrees to the possibility of multiple romantic, sexual, or intimate connections.
Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM)
Another term for relationship structures in which everyone involved has knowledge of and consents to non-monogamy.
Non-Monogamy (NM)
A broad term describing relationship arrangements that do not require romantic or sexual exclusivity.
Monogamy
A relationship structure in which partners agree to romantic and/or sexual exclusivity with one another.
Polyamory
The practice or capacity of having multiple loving, consensual romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Polyamorous (Polyam)
Describes a person, relationship, or structure involving polyamory.
Open Relationship
A relationship in which partners have mutually agreed that some forms of romantic or sexual connection outside the relationship are permitted.
Open Marriage
A marriage in which the spouses have mutually agreed to permit some form of consensual non-monogamy.
Closed Relationship
A relationship that is not open to additional romantic or sexual partners or connections.
Monogamish
A mostly monogamous relationship that allows limited, specifically negotiated exceptions to sexual or romantic exclusivity.
Ambiamorous
A person who can be fulfilled in either monogamous or consensually non-monogamous relationships.
Relationship Anarchy (RA)
A relationship philosophy that rejects automatically ranking relationships according to conventional categories and instead emphasises autonomy, consent, negotiation and allowing each relationship to develop according to the people involved.
Solo Polyamory (Solo Poly)
A style of polyamory in which a person prioritises their autonomy and generally does not organise their life around a conventional primary-partner relationship structure.
Non-Hierarchical Polyamory
Polyamory that attempts to avoid formally ranking partners as more or less important, while recognising that different relationships may naturally have different levels of involvement.
Hierarchical Polyamory
Polyamory in which some relationships are explicitly given greater priority, authority, commitment, or practical entanglement than others.
Descriptive Hierarchy
A hierarchy that describes existing differences in relationships, such as shared housing or parenting, without necessarily being imposed as a set of restrictions on other relationships.
Prescriptive Hierarchy
A hierarchy in which one relationship has explicitly negotiated authority or priority over other relationships.
Primary Partner
A partner who occupies a central or highly prioritised position in a hierarchical relationship structure, often involving significant life entanglements.
Secondary Partner
A partner whose relationship has less structural priority or practical entanglement than a primary relationship within a hierarchical structure.
Tertiary Partner
A term sometimes used for a relationship with relatively limited practical or emotional entanglement compared with primary or secondary relationships.
Anchor Partner
A deeply established partner who provides continuity, stability and long-term connection; the term does not inherently require hierarchy.
Nesting Partner (NP)
A romantic or intimate partner with whom someone shares a home or substantial domestic life.
Life Partner
A partner with whom someone intends to maintain a long-term or lifelong relationship; the relationship may be romantic, sexual or otherwise intimate.
Friends With Benefits (FWB)
A friendship that includes mutually consensual sexual or intimate activity without necessarily being a romantic partnership.
Comet Partner
A partner who may have a meaningful connection with someone but interacts relatively infrequently, often because of distance, schedules or lifestyle.
Long-Distance Relationship (LDR)
A relationship in which partners live far enough apart that regular in-person interaction is limited.
Polycule
A network of interconnected romantic and/or sexual relationships within a polyamorous community or configuration.
Metamour
Your partner's partner, with whom you are not directly romantically or sexually involved.
Paramour
An older or less commonly used term for a romantic or sexual partner.
Hinge
The person who connects two or more partners who are not themselves romantically involved with each other, such as the centre of a V relationship.
🍍 Relationship Structures
11 terms
Hinge Partner
The person at the centre of a V who maintains separate relationships with the two other partners.
Triad
A relationship involving three people who are all romantically or intimately connected in some configuration.
Throuple
A popular informal term for a three-person romantic relationship, often implying that all three people are partners.
Quad
A polyamorous relationship structure involving four people who are connected in one or more romantic or intimate configurations.
Polycule / Poly Group
An informal term sometimes used for a larger interconnected polyamorous relationship network.
Open Polyamory
Polyamory in which people are generally permitted to form additional consensual relationships.
Kitchen Table Polyamory (KTP)
A style of polyamory in which partners and metamours are comfortable interacting socially, potentially spending time together around the same metaphorical kitchen table.
Parallel Polyamory
A style in which partners and metamours maintain relatively separate relationships and generally have little direct interaction.
Garden Party Polyamory (GPP)
A middle-ground style in which metamours may be friendly and attend occasional gatherings together without necessarily having a close relationship.
Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell (DADT)
An arrangement in which partners agree not to disclose or discuss certain outside relationships or activities.
Relationship Anarchy
A philosophy that challenges predetermined relationship hierarchies and the assumption that romantic relationships should automatically receive greater priority than friendships or other relationships.
🍍 Bdsm & Kink
30 terms
Core Bdsm Terminology
BDSM
An umbrella term covering Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism.
Kink
A broad term for consensual sexual, sensual, psychological or relational interests outside conventional sexual norms.
Vanilla
A term commonly used for sexual or intimate activities that do not involve a particular kink or BDSM dynamic.
B/D
Bondage and Discipline; activities involving physical restraint and/or consensually established rules, punishment or behavioural structure.
D/s
Dominance and Submission; a consensual power-exchange dynamic in which one person takes a dominant role and another takes a submissive role.
S/M or S&M
Sadism and Masochism; consensual enjoyment of giving and/or receiving intense sensation or pain.
Power Exchange
A consensually negotiated dynamic in which one person gives another some degree of authority or control.
Power Exchange Relationship
A relationship in which consensual power exchange forms an ongoing part of the dynamic.
Scene
A defined period of consensual BDSM or kink activity, generally involving negotiation beforehand and some form of conclusion or aftercare afterward.
Play
Community language for consensual BDSM or kink activity.
Collaring
The act of giving or wearing a collar as a symbolic representation of a BDSM relationship, commitment, ownership or submission.
Collar
A physical collar that may symbolise submission, ownership, commitment or participation in BDSM.
Play Party
A private or organised gathering where consenting adults may participate in BDSM or sexual activities according to the venue's rules.
Bdsm Roles
Dominant / Dom
A person who consensually takes a position of authority or control within a BDSM dynamic.
Domme
A feminine term for a dominant person.
Submissive / Sub
A person who consensually gives some degree of control or authority to another person within a BDSM dynamic.
Switch
A person who enjoys taking both dominant and submissive roles, depending on the partner, activity, mood or situation.
Top
The person who performs or administers an activity during a BDSM scene; being a top does not automatically mean being dominant.
Bottom
The person who receives an activity or sensation during a BDSM scene; being a bottom does not automatically mean being submissive.
Sadist
A person who derives consensual pleasure from causing pain, intense sensation or psychological intensity to a willing partner.
Masochist
A person who derives consensual pleasure from receiving pain, intense sensation or psychological intensity.
Master / Mistress
Titles sometimes used by people in dominant roles, particularly in authority-based or Master/slave dynamics.
Slave
A role in some BDSM relationships involving consensually surrendered authority or control; usage varies significantly between individuals and communities.
Owner / Property Dynamic
A consensual BDSM dynamic in which one person is symbolically or relationally regarded as owning another.
Rigger
A person who performs rope bondage.
Rope Bunny
A person who enjoys being tied or restrained with rope.
Brat
A submissive person who enjoys playful, provocative or deliberately challenging behaviour as part of a negotiated dynamic.
Brat Tamer
A dominant who enjoys responding to a bratty submissive's playful challenges within a consensual dynamic.
Little
A person who enjoys an age-regression or younger-persona dynamic within consensual adult role-play.
Daddy / Mommy
An adult consensual power-exchange or caregiving role involving parental-style authority or nurturing; it does not imply an actual familial relationship.
🍍 Consent & Safety
13 terms
Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC)
A traditional BDSM safety framework emphasising safety, mental capacity and explicit consent.
Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)
A framework that recognises that some kink activities carry unavoidable risks and emphasises informed consent and awareness of those risks.
Safeword
A pre-agreed word or signal used to communicate that an activity needs to slow down, pause or stop.
Non-Verbal Safeword
A physical signal used when speaking may be difficult or impossible.
Safe Signal
A predetermined gesture, word or action used to communicate consent, discomfort, pause or stopping.
Hard Limit
An activity, behaviour or circumstance that a person does not consent to under any circumstances.
Soft Limit
An activity that a person may potentially explore under specific conditions, with caution or additional negotiation.
Curiosity / Maybe
An activity someone is interested in discussing or potentially exploring but has not agreed to participate in.
Aftercare
Physical and emotional care provided after a BDSM scene to help participants recover, reconnect and address their needs.
Drop
A period of emotional or physical low experienced after an intense scene, commonly associated with changes in adrenaline, endorphins or emotional intensity.
Subdrop
Drop experienced by a submissive or bottom after a scene.
Topdrop
Drop experienced by a dominant or top after a scene.
Domdrop
Another term for emotional or physical drop experienced by a dominant after intense BDSM activity.
🍍 Common Community Terms
8 terms
Lifestyle / The Lifestyle
A term historically associated with the swinger and consensual non-monogamy community, particularly recreational sexual relationships and social communities.
Swinging
A form of consensual non-monogamy traditionally focused primarily on recreational sexual activity with others, often involving couples.
Hotwife
A consensual relationship dynamic in which a woman has sexual experiences with people other than her partner, often with her partner's knowledge or participation.
Cuckolding
A consensual sexual or erotic dynamic involving a person whose partner has sex with others, sometimes incorporating humiliation, voyeurism or compersion; terminology and preferences vary considerably.
Stag
A person, often a male partner, who enjoys their female partner having sexual experiences with others, typically without the humiliation component associated with some cuckolding dynamics.
Cuckquean
A person, often a woman, who derives consensual erotic interest from their partner having sexual experiences with others.
Voyeurism
Deriving consensual sexual or erotic enjoyment from watching others engage in intimate activity; all participants must consent to being observed.
Exhibitionism
Deriving sexual or erotic enjoyment from being observed; ethical exhibitionism requires the observer's consent and appropriate context.