Soft swap
A couple-specific agreement that allows some forms of partnered sexual activity with others while excluding intercourse as defined by that couple. The exact boundary can differ, so people should state what they mean rather than assume.
Explore at your own pace
Relationship & Play Dynamics
These terms describe some common ways adults structure relationships and consensual play. People use them differently, and no label tells you everything about a person or relationship. Communication, consent, and negotiated boundaries matter in every dynamic.
🍍 Swinging
Swinging generally refers to partnered adults consensually sharing or exploring sexual experiences with others, often as a social or recreational activity. Agreements vary widely; terms below are common shorthand, not universal rules.
Full swap
A term some swingers use for partner exchange that includes intercourse with a play partner. What counts as intercourse and what safer-sex agreements apply should be discussed directly by everyone involved.
Same-room play
Partners play in the same room or shared space, sometimes with each other and other people. It can include watching, joining, or simply being present; each person’s permission and comfort should be checked.
Separate-room play
Partners agree to play in separate rooms or spaces. Couples may set check-in plans, time limits, or other boundaries beforehand. The label itself does not establish what is allowed.
Group play
Several consenting adults participate in a shared encounter or event. Participants should discuss who is included, what activities are in bounds, safer-sex practices, privacy, and how anyone can pause or leave.
Voyeurism & exhibitionism
Consensual interest in watching others or being watched. In lifestyle settings this must involve adults who have explicitly agreed to the watching or being seen; privacy and event rules still apply.
Stag/vixen
A label sometimes used for a couple-centered dynamic in which one partner (the “vixen”) has encounters with others while the other partner (the “stag”) enjoys, supports, or observes in an agreed way. It is not a universal definition or fixed role.
Hotwife / cuckold dynamics
Terms used by some couples for negotiated scenarios involving one partner’s sexual experiences with others and the other partner’s interest or participation, which may be emotional, erotic, or role-play based. People define these terms differently; consent and boundaries must be explicit.
đź’ž Polyamory
Polyamory describes consensual capacity for or practice of multiple romantic and/or intimate relationships, with the knowledge and agreement of the people involved. These are relationship structures, not rankings of care or measures of commitment.
Hierarchical polyamory
A structure in which partners describe some relationships as having different levels of priority or shared commitments, often using terms like “primary” and “secondary.” These labels do not automatically define what choices a person may make; agreements should be discussed.
Non-hierarchical polyamory
A structure that avoids assigning partners ranked “primary” or “secondary” status. People still have different commitments, needs, histories, and time constraints, so non-hierarchical does not mean every relationship is identical.
V relationship
Three people connected in a V shape: one person has a relationship with each of the other two, while those two (“metamours”) are not dating one another. They may be close, friendly, or have little contact.
Triad / throuple
Three people who are all in a romantic relationship with one another. A triad is not necessarily equal in every aspect, and it is different from a V. All three people’s wishes and consent matter individually.
Quad
A relationship network involving four people, often two couples with connections across them, though configurations vary. “Quad” describes the number or broad shape, not a single required arrangement.
Kitchen-table polyamory
A preference for a friendly, connected network where partners and metamours may spend time together comfortably—like gathering around a kitchen table. It is an option, not an obligation.
Parallel polyamory
A preference for keeping different relationships mostly separate, with limited contact between metamours. People can choose this for privacy, time, or comfort while still being honest with affected partners.
Solo polyamory
A way of practicing polyamory while prioritizing autonomy and not organizing one’s life around a presumed couple-based “primary” partnership. Solo poly people can have committed relationships and meaningful interdependence.
Mono-poly relationship
A relationship where one partner practices monogamy and the other practices polyamory, by mutual agreement. It works only if both people freely agree to the arrangement and can revisit their needs and boundaries.
Relationship anarchy
A values-based approach that resists automatically ranking relationships or assigning rules based on whether a connection is romantic, sexual, or platonic. People define commitments collaboratively; the term does not mean “no agreements.”
Metamour
A partner of one’s partner, with whom one is not necessarily romantically or sexually involved. Metamours may know each other well, be friends, or have no direct relationship.
Compersion
A word for positive feelings, such as joy or warmth, about a partner’s connection with someone else. It is not required in polyamory, and feeling jealousy does not mean someone is doing polyamory incorrectly.
đź–¤ Kink & BDSM
Kink is a broad term for consensual interests, practices, or fantasies outside conventional expectations. BDSM commonly refers to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Not every kink involves BDSM, pain, sex, or a relationship.
Dominant / submissive (D/s)
A negotiated exchange of power in which a Dominant takes a guiding or controlling role and a submissive chooses to yield some control within agreed limits. Consent remains active and can be withdrawn; titles do not remove anyone’s agency.
Top / bottom
In a scene, a top usually leads or performs an activity and a bottom receives it. These terms describe roles in an activity and do not necessarily indicate a broader power dynamic, identity, or who has control over the scene.
Switch
A person who enjoys taking more than one role, such as Dominant and submissive or top and bottom, depending on their interests, partner, or situation.
Bondage & restraint
Consensual restriction of movement using agreed methods or equipment. Participants should discuss limits, circulation and position risks, how to communicate, and how restraints can be removed quickly.
Impact play
Negotiated striking or impact using hands or implements. People should agree on body areas, intensity, tools, health considerations, and stop signals; the term describes a broad range of practices.
Sensation play
Play focused on physical sensations such as pressure, temperature, texture, or sound. Sensitivities and risks vary, so the people involved should name what is welcome and what is off-limits.
Service dynamic
A negotiated exchange where one person provides agreed tasks or care as part of a power dynamic. Tasks, expectations, duration, and the ability to pause or renegotiate should be clear.
Role-play
Consensual acting within an imagined scenario or roles. Participants should agree on the scenario, boundaries, words or actions that end the scene, and how to return to ordinary interaction afterward.
Scene
A planned or spontaneous period of kink activity. A scene may include negotiation beforehand and check-in or aftercare afterward; not every kink interaction follows the same format.
Safeword / stop signal
A pre-agreed word or signal used to pause, change, or end an activity. Many people use a traffic-light system (green, yellow, red), but the choice should fit everyone’s needs and account for situations where speech is difficult.
Aftercare
Support or decompression after an intense scene, chosen by the participants. It might include quiet time, water, warmth, conversation, or space; ask what someone wants rather than assuming.
RACK / SSC
Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) and Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) are frameworks some communities use to think about kink. They are not guarantees of safety: participants still need informed, specific consent, honest risk discussion, and a way to stop.
Consent belongs in every dynamic
Consent should be informed, voluntary, specific, and ongoing. A person can change their mind. Discuss boundaries, safer-sex practices where relevant, privacy, and how to pause or stop before an activity begins.
Learning sources: Planned Parenthood: What is polyamory? · Planned Parenthood: Sexual consent · National Coalition for Sexual Freedom: Consent Counts · Swing.com: Swinging glossary. Definitions are plain-language summaries; communities and individuals may use terms differently.